Showing posts with label optimism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label optimism. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Yeah, But It Won't Last!

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Today is a “weather perfect day” in Las Vegas.  This day followed a record breaking rainfall for any day since records have been kept for Las Vegas.  As I began my 7 a.m. walk, the air was crisp, the birds were singing, and the leaves on the trees gave enough cover to feel a bit cool. 

Then it happened.  The moment-by-moment beauty of the day was haltingly disrupted as a greeted a follow female walker, “This is a glorious reward for all that rain yesterday,” I cheerfully espoused.  Her response?  “Huh? Oh, yeah. But it’s not going to last.”
Lucky for me, I walk very fast and was able to escape the pending doom radiating from this woman.  I was smiling from ear-to-ear knowing that I had just experienced a real time example of how the mind – when untrained and unmonitored – can destroy the present moment’s glory by anticipating the natural evolution of life. 

Do things change?  Heck, yes!  Does knowing that mean you should not appreciate the good times.  Heck, no!  Beautiful flowers can grow through rocks.
Dr. Success Challenge:  How would you act (or what decision would you make today) if you believed good was going to last…at least for the moment?

Optimism and pessimism start in the mind.  Success and happiness start and end in the mind.  Period.  You choose.
Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein
http://www.facebook.com/DrSuccessPhD
http://www.linkedin.com/in/drsuccessphd
http://twitter.com/DrSucces

 

 

Monday, May 21, 2012

Optimistic or Pessimistic?

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I, for one, still come out on the side that if given a choice, I would rather be born naturally too optimistic than born naturally more pessimistic.  Why?  Seeing a situation as negative as it really is would steal me of the moments I might have to enjoy those around me or see the beauty that is before me.  In the end, the negative outcome may be the realistic outcome -- but at least I had more time to create joy before it occurred.  I don't believe I could do that if I was more pessimistic.  See if you agree with Tali Sharot in this Ted video.


If you were given a choice of being more optimistic or more pessimistic, which would you choose? 
Let me know DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com  Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglien

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Asking Part II - What You Ask For

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Never has clarity been more important as when you are setting goals and asking for assistance – especially if the assistance you are seeking is from God or your universal source. I know, I know, I am using that “G” word again. Do yourself a favor and just get over it. You would not be reading my work if you did not have some belief in something greater than yourself. Unless, of course, you are a real glutton for punishment.

Dr. Success Challenge: Think of a time you set an intention, or a goal, and the result was not as you intended. Or you felt the request you stated in a prayer was not answered. Now look back on what you exactly asked for. If you used prayer, examine honestly if you were begging for a result or requesting guidance toward a desired outcome.

There are two important points I want to bring out. The first is the importance of incorporating some form of prayer, meditation, or reflective process in your daily personal development. This is not something I am requesting because I was brought up in an environment where that was taught and accepted. I bring it up because the seminal researcher in the field of well-beginning and happiness actually included the process of daily prayer and/or meditation as one of the key exercises in her book on using a scientific approach to getting the life you want.* When you have a practice tied to some belief in a greater good source, such as God, and something goes wrong, you will recover faster.

Second, be clear about what you ask for! That may seem simple but let me give you an example. A young woman was new to the practice of setting goals through the use of stating an affirmation or intention. She had a daily spiritual practice and supported her affirming with that practice. Her particular intention was around attracting a love interest who adored her. See believed she was clear on her intention because she had just come out of a relationship with a very respectable young man, but she realized that he never really adored her. From her perspective, he loved her, but she felt it was in a very competitive way instead of an adoring way.

So she was clear, her next relationship would be with someone who adored her. Well, she got exactly what she had intended. She attracted a very nice man who adored her and that was when she realized the error in her intention. You see, as much as she enjoyed and loved this young man as a person, she did not adore him the way he adored her. The relationship was not balanced in a way that could work long term.

To paraphrase her experience, “This affirmation and intention stuff really works, but you need to be careful that you are clear and complete in what you intend to attract.”

My advice: Ask, ask, ask – and invest time making sure that what you are asking for is really what you would like to attract.

*The How Of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky

Andrea T. Goeglein, Ph.D.
Dr. Success™
http://www.servingsuccess.blogspot.com/
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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Bad News

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My last post about how to simplify the legal system can easily apply to the reporting of news. For my next three monthly segments on AM Arizona which airs from Prescott, Arizona on cable channel 27, hosts Tonya Mock and Lew Rese and I will focus on specific things you can do to reverse the negative effects of the daily news.

Undoubtedly, you have heard, or maybe you have said it yourself, that “they” only report bad news. Maybe you have even asked, “Why can’t they tell us good stuff?” Well, there is a very good reason why “they” can’t tell us good stuff. You would not tune in to the television, you would not buy the newspapers, and you would not click through to a story headline if it was good news. Science has borne out this fact in several studies. So, in reality it is not “them” doing it to us…it is us doing it to us. I’ll get to that in a moment. In the meantime, know there is something YOU can do each and every moment you hear troubling headlines or a news report that disturbs you. Now that should be good news!

1. Play a game by neutralizing the headline. Yes, make it a game. See how good you can get. The only rule is to change any headline into a neutral statement. By doing that one thing you are automatically a winner!
2. Take and action of service. An action of service is an action that helps someone who may be affected by the negative headline.

Why do I say it is us doing it to us? Once you become aware that some person or situation is a certain way and you don’t change how you interface with that person or situation, you are actually the person causing the issue. I know that is painful to hear. I have files filled with clients who complain about uninvolved, underproductive employees, board members who do not cooperate, or business partnerships that are intolerable and cause daily psychological and sometime physical, pain. Yet they take no action other than to talk about it.

That is the same way with negative news reporting. It is a fact. What is missing is your acceptance of that fact. Acceptance is not acceptance that it is the right way to report the news. Acceptance is releasing the resistance you have that news is reported negatively and instead taking one of the actions listed above to neutralize the effect the news has on you. What you resist, persists. Where you put your focus gives you your result. Action is the best antidote to a negative reaction.

Example: U.S. skipper’s escape bid fails (LV Review Journal headline April 11, 2009). Although we all now know this situation ended safely the next day, however on Saturday morning if you read that headline you most likely felt helpless, even victimized, and angry that American’s were yet again under attack. So what could you have done? You could have done to reverse those feelings? Here are some suggestions: You could have stopped and said a prayer or sent good mental thoughts for the skipper’s safe return; you could have written a note to his family; you could have called a group of friends and gathered to do one or both of the preceding suggestions.

By doing any of the suggested activities you would have immediately stopped the feelings of helplessness, and began to create feelings of being in control. It is that simple. That is why action is so important when you begin to feel helpless.

For more ideas about what you can do, I suggest you read Sonja Lyubomirsky’s The How Of Happiness. She lists twelve proven techniques to begin the process of reversing negative thoughts and ways to increase optimism and general mood.

With appreciation for your readership,
Andrea T. Goeglein, Ph.D.
866 975 3777
www.ServingSuccess.com