Happiness Questioned Part 3

This is the third question in the series provided by Robert Biswar-Diener.  Have you been writing out answers to each of the questions? 

3.  With whom do you share responsibility for your own happiness?

It is easy to get lulled into a sense that happiness is an individual pursuit. Nothing could be further from the truth. You are connected to other people in a complicated web of loyalty, obligation, generosity, protection, and mutual support. Your own happiness is not simply a product of your mind, but of your decisions concerning other people. You can ask support from others to boost your happiness; you can sacrifice some personal happiness in favor of helping others. Who are the primary stakeholders in your happiness and how do they affect your moods? What does this tell you about your own pursuit of happiness?

By simply asking these new questions you will redirect your attention and take stock of your own happiness in a different way. We hope that the very act of questioning wakes you up to an invigorated sense of pursuit of happiness. We recommend taking five (5) full minutes aside and actually thinking or writing answers to these questions in detail. We would love to hear from you about how asking these questions affects you. Please drop us a line or post to our Facebook site.

 
To learn more about the authors of these questions and their work:

Robert Biswar-Diener

Mathieu Ricard

John Helliwell

Project Plus

And Dr. Biswar-Diener’s most current training for coaches starting October 29, 2012

Hope you enjoyed these questions. 
Thank you trying to improve your life satisfaction, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
www.ServingSuccess.com

Happines Questioned Part 2

2.     How much unhappiness should I have?

Feelings of sadness, guilt, and anger act like radar, scanning and providing information about the quality of our lives. Negative feelings can signal that problems are occurring and that action must be taken to change courses. It wouldn't be sensible to try to eliminate negative feelings entirely. How frequently do you experience negative feelings, and how frequently do you think you ideally would like to?

To learn more about the authors of these questions and their work:

Robert Biswar-Diener

Mathieu Ricard

John Helliwell

Project Plus

And Dr. Biswar-Diener’s most current training for coaches starting October 29, 2012

Thank you, Andrea Goeglein

www.ServingSuccess.com

 

Happiness Questioned Part 1

In a continuing effort to support the high integrity of Positive Psychology, my next three posts will be republished questions from the renowned author, researcher and scholar Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener.  Look below for information about his newest class starting on October 29. 

Have you ever questioned happiness?

Twice a year I meet with Project Plus, an international team of happiness experts that includes Mathieu Ricard, John Helliwell, and others. Currently, we are drafting the introduction to the Bhutanese Gross National Happiness paper, which will be used by the United Nations as a kick starter for setting happiness policy around the world. In our discussions last week in New Orleans the members of Project Plus talked about the possibility that individuals who are trying to achieve more personal happiness may be asking the wrong sorts of questions. Here, for your benefit, are alternatives that you might find provocative and useful in your own quest for happiness:

            1.     How much happiness should I have?

People often simply think they should be happier than they currently are without giving due consideration to whether or not this is true. Take stock of your current happiness. Where in your life are you satisfied and where is there room for growth? How happy would you ideally like to be? What is it you are shooting for, emotionally speaking? When have there been periods of your life when you have achieved, or been close to, this ideal?

Dr. Success Challenge:  Answer the questions!

For those interesting in building a coaching practice, this is a great place to learn:

This is the last week to register for class!

Our Practice Building Accelerator course is fast approaching! In this six week course taught by Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener, students will explore the fundamentals of starting and growing a coaching practice, including marketing and client acquisition. Class starts October 29th. To learn more about our program please visit us at PositiveAcorn.com.

For questions please contact: info@positiveacorn.com 

Thank you, Robert, for allowing me to republish this material.
Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
www.ServingSuccess.com

Free Positive Psychology Lecture Series

This was such a incredible offer, I wanted to post.  This is an opportunity to learn from one of the top researchers in the field of Positive Psychology, Robert Biswas-Diener , do it for free, from the comfort of your own phone.  It does not get better than that.  Here is the information.  Frist call is today, Wednesday, June 13.  No registration.  Just call at the designated time.  No recordings will be available after the call.  Use it or lose it! 

New Free Lecture Series starts this week!We are at it again! As part of our mission to make positive psychology practices available to everyone, Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and the Positive Acorn team are set to deliver a free lecture series starting June 13th, 2012.  Robert will lecture on the latest interventions in applied positive psychology.
The recording of these lectures will NOT be made available so you must join us for the live session in order to get the information and experience. We encourage you to share this information with your friends and colleagues. Please join us by calling into our conference line on the following dates!
Topics and Schedule
(all times are US Pacific)
June 13th, 2012 at 12:00pm 
Humor and Positive Effect

 
June 14th, 2012 at 9:00am 
Mindset Malleability

 
June 14th, 2012 at 12:00pm 
Motivation Maintenance

June 17th, 2012 at 12:00pm 
Positive Work 

June 18th, 2012 at 12:00pm 
Time Orientation and Savoring

  June 19th, 2012 at 12:00pm 
Story and Organization

June 20th, 2012 at 12:00pm 
Courage in Cultures

 July 16th, 2012 at 12:00pm 
Positive Assessment

 
Call in number: (559)546-1401
Access code: 953641 
We look forward to interacting with you on the calls!
The Positive Acorn teamwww.positiveacorn.com

Soft Fascination and Leomonade

The following blog post was written by author, researcher, teacher and Positive Psychologist, Dr. Robert Biswar-Diener.  Robert has a new book out this week: The Courage Quotient and Robert is one of two resources I recommend for his Positive Psychology Coaching Course.  His April class is full, but he has another scheduled for June 4. I have italicized the section I found most interesting.

Soft Fascination and Lemonade

Anyone who has ever had to proofread, write a bibliography or refrain from snacking in the afternoon knows that these activities can be mentally exhausting. In fact, psychologist Roy Baumeister and his colleagues found that these types of tasks-- those that involve effortful attention-- deplete glucose in the brain. When the researchers gave fatigued study participants a glass of sugary lemonade they suddenly became better at these activities, as opposed to those who were given a glass of lemonade made with an artificial sweetener, who received no benefit.

A new article published earlier this year makes a strong case that attention is a psychological resource that can help us be at our best, but which we can "use up" like logs in a fire. Apart from having some lemonade the authors suggest several ways that we can restore our attentional powers. One is to sleep. Another is to meditate. The third possibility is even more intriguing: The authors divide our attention into two parts, involuntary attention (the natural tracking we engage in that doesn't require any conscious effort) and voluntary attention (the effortful looking at and figuring out of the world around us). An urban environment, the authors say, tends to deplete us because it draws on both our involuntary attention (noticing background information such as buildings) and our voluntary attention (keeping an eye out for traffic). They call this "hard fascination" and it tends to be exhausting. The alternative is "soft fascination" and this is exactly what happens when people experience natural vistas. If you spend time at the beach or walking through the forest your involuntary, but not voluntary attention is engaged, giving the latter time to rest and restore. So getting out into nature can provide a resource boost.

Next time you have a big day with lots of demanding work consider taking a break to go to the city park or similar pleasant greenspace and see how it affects your mental resources. If you just don't have time to get outside I suppose you can always turn to that glass of lemonade!  

Thank you, Robert, for a great post.  Andrea T. Goeglein www.ServingSuccess.com
Here are the links again to order Robert's new book and to his site for outstanding learning opportunities:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Courage-Quotient-Robert-Biswas-Diener/dp/0470917423/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334326756&sr=8-1

www.positiveacorn.com

Money and Happiness - Revisited

The following blog was written by renowned Positive Psychology researcher and author, Robert Biswas-Diener.  Since I am a person who enjoys my material purchases, I did a fair amount of reflection on the first research finding.  Then I noticed – when I purchase material things and use them I am engaged in an individual activity – when I take a vacation, dance lessons, or horseback riding – I am usually doing those things with others.  Made me wonder if the research was measuringwas  the pleasure from the purchase vs. experience or solitary activity vs. activities with others?  See what you think?
As always, I thank Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener for his great blogs.  I share them a lot.  He can be reached at www.postiveacorn.com 

Spending money to promote happiness

Everyone has heard the old quip "If you don't think money buys happiness then you are not spending it right." At the heart of this statement is the controversy over whether or not money factors into our individual and collective well-being. Research is clear that money makes a difference to personal happiness, but that it is not the most important factor and that it can be counterproductive to put too much stock in the emotional benefits of income.

More recently researcher Leaf Van Boven and his colleagues have found that how you spend your money matters to your happiness. They found that people who spent money on experiences-- such as vacations, dance lessons, and horseback riding-- were happier relative to those who spent on shoes, jewelry, and other material items. To be certain, we all need to purchase some material goods, but when it comes to discretionary income experiences appear to beat material purchases.

In a newly published piece of research Ryan Howell and his colleagues extended the Van Boven studies. The Howell team was concerned with not a single purchase but spending habits over time. They discovered that certain types of people were more drawn experiential buys and were happier. What set this group apart was extroversion, empathy and a sensitivity to rewards. These people are folks with a tendency to want to plumb life for its emotional treasures and they instinctively understand that spending money on experiences is a bulls-eye technique for doing so.

This week, when you are done paying your bills and other fixed expenses try turning your mind to experiences. consider a coffee date or dinner with a friend, or the petrol it will take to transport you to a beautiful hike. Skip the spending on stuff and buy a slice of life instead.
Copyright:  Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener 2012

Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com

Free Talk on Positive Psychology Today

Free Talks on Positive Psychology

Please join us next week for a series of free short talks on positive psychology. On Tuesday, February 14th (Valentine's Day) we will be spreading the love by offering two free half hour talks live with Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener. At 9 AM US Pacific (noon Eastern) Robert will be pulling back the curtain and taking you behind the scenes of the history of positive psychology. At 10 AM US Pacific time Robert will be speaking on finding meaning at work.

To join the call simply dial:
212-200-5010
and then enter the PIN 86849
If you have any questions please contact: info@positiveacorn.com

We hope you can join us!

Take AIM on Happiness

Now that the new Don't Die book is complete and on the market, its time to get back to the great teachings and teachers of Positive Psychology.  The following is a blog post by Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener.  To learn more about Dr. Biswas-Diener's work and the learning opportunities he offers, go to:

Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener
Positive Acorn, LLC
www.positiveacorn.com  

There's more to this pleasant feeling than you think!

A few years ago a friend and colleague of mine-- Sonja Lyubomirsky-- wrote a book about the science of well-being called "The How of Happiness." In this book Sonja reviewed much of the empirical evidence for various ways that a person might achieve happiness: cultivate a habit of gratitude, plug in spiritually, let go of sour feelings through forgiveness. The How of Happiness was timely and important in that it addressed what is, for many folks, the single most pressing question about happiness, "How can I get some more of it?"

What many people fail to realize, where their own emotional good life is concerned, is that there is an equally crucial question: when is happiness? Many of us simply assume that happiness is an emotion we experience in the present and it therefore makes sense to find pleasant and rewarding tasks in which to engage. There is, however, more to the story..... there is a psychological "happiness timeline" during which happiness is constructed, much in the same way your story of your wedding day or trip to Paris is constructed.

In a book published the same year as Lyubomirsky's, my father-- Ed Diener-- and I introduced readers to the "AIM" model of happiness. In Happiness: Unlocking the mysteries of psychological wealth, we separate into three distinct components: attention, interpretation, and memory.

A- Attention:  It turns out that what you pay attention to in the first place is what your mind becomes filled with! This is why a daily habit of gratitude can be helpful; it shifts your focus to the ways in which the world is good and in which you are fortunate. This is not a matter of naively overlooking the bad, of course. Rather, it is a matter of NOT overlooking the small good daily events.

I- Interpretation: This is classic cognitive psychology. Are you the type of person who feels appreciative when your boyfriend brings you flowers or are you the type to immediately suspect him of wrongdoing? We all have thinking habits and interpreting the events of daily life is one of these. To improve your happiness try consciously considering alternative explanations before jumping to an emotional conclusion.

M- Memory: Happiness does not just exist in the present but also can be drawn from past events. Try savoring past successes, enjoyable experiences and other golden memories by making a habit out of looking at memorabilia or trading stories with a spouse or friends. You will be surprised to find that you can draw actual happiness-- right now-- from events that have taken place long ago. Rather than looking for increased happiness in a better future you can mine your past experiences to pay out happiness dividends!
This week, set a challenge for yourself to undertake at least one of these three approaches to happiness.

Thank you Robert for a great post. 

Thrive

There is a short list on which I keep the names of people whose work I admire in any given field.  I find keeping such a list stops me from wondering in the 'woods' of an Internet search on any given topic.  When it comes to those I trust in the field of applied positive psychology, Robert Biswas-Diener, is not only on that list, but on the top!  I have never met him, but can tell from his thoughtful and useful newsletters that if I still owned hotels, he would be the consult I would hire.  The following review of the new book, Thrive, was written by Robert Biswas-Diener.  Since I loved The Blue Zones, I can't wait to pick up a copy of Thrive.
People familiar with positive psychology are often unfamiliar with Dan Buettner. This is because Dan is an explorer, journalist, world-record holder, and expert on a topic often overlooked by positive psychologists: health. In his first book-- The Blue Zones-- Dan identified geographic anomalies: places where a disproportionate percentage of the population lived to be 100 or more. He investigated the health and social habits of people in Okinawa and other places. His reasoning is as follows: it makes sense to look at the habits of people who are successful. In his newest effort, Thrive, Dan extends this strategy to happiness.


Thrive is another topocentric book; this time Buettner shifts his attention from the healthiest places on the planet to the happiest. One of the things I love best about Dan's take on happiness is that he gets out into the field. Scientific findings are great-- and Buettner certainly makes the most of his relationship to Gallup and access to Gallup survey data-- but it is often just as fruitful to get out of the laboratory and talk to people on the street who illustrate academic points on a more day to day level. It is because of this journalistic impulse that Thrive doesn't read like "just another happiness book" but appears to offer something new.... newer data, new stories, and new ideas.


On a final note I should also mention that I love Dan's take on the science of happiness. Rather than present his own model of happiness-- as if we need another one of those!-- Dan interviews Ed Diener, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ruut Veenhoven and other experts, reprinting their quotes in full and letting small points of difference hang in the air between them. Ultimately, I suspect Dan agrees with Sonja on the meaning of happiness when she says "Most of us don't need a definition of happiness because instinctively we know whether we are happy or not." Thrive is like this: supported on a foundation of science but, ultimately, a book about people.

Robert's company publishes various workbooks in the field of positive psychology.  Check him and them out:  Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener, Positive Psychology Services, LLC, www.intentionalhappiness.com

Thriving, Thanksgiving, and The Thanks in giving, Andrea
www.YouTube.com/user/ServingSuccess
www.Facebook.com/DrSuccessPhD
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess

Mindfulness is Overrated!

I have incredible news for you.  Being aware all the time is overrated.  Research supports us taking a rest and NOT being so darned aware.  What follows is a reprint of an article by Robert Biswas-Diener.   As I prepare for my first real vacation in several years, I know I plan to heed the advice. 


The virtues of auto-pilot

Have you ever been driving and ended up in the wrong destination because you weren't thinking about where you were going? Perhaps you intended to head to the store but suddenly found yourself in the parking lot of your children's school? We often live on "auto-pilot," taking our minds off-line and allowing mental habits to take over. This is why, when we are at the airport and the ticket agent says "Have a nice flight" we sometimes say "you too," even though the agent is not flying anywhere. It is a kind of mindlessness that eases the burden of paying attention to every detail all the time.

Recently, there has been much talk about the other side of this coin: mindfulness. Mindfulness is effortful awareness. Rooted in meditation practices mindfulness is the true appreciation of each moment. Ellen Langer, the Harvard University psychologist, claims that Mindfulness is true happiness. The problem is, we cannot and should not be mindful all the time!

A groundbreaking paper on "psychological flexibility" argues that these "default" mental states are an important part of a healthy approach to life. Research is clear: exerting self-control such as refraining from eating a tempting cookie burns glucose in the brain and leads to worse self control and cognitive processing over time. The most psychologically flexible people understand that sometimes they need to exert effortful control but, at other times, they need to fly on auto-pilot to conserve their mental resources. This is not all that different from one of Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." Covey suggests that a person cannot just use a skill or talent all the time; we all need to take breaks to "sharpen the saw" (rather than just continuing to saw).

In the end, mindfulness is associated with appreciation and happiness, but mindlessness conserves our mental resources to make mindfulness possible. So don't beat yourself up for occasionally living on "auto-pilot." Besides, life is more of an adventure if you sometimes end up in the parking lot of your kids' school rather than your intended destination.

Thank you Robert for granting permission to use this piece. 

Thank you to my readers for continuing to join me on our journey on the crooked road of success.

Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
Dr. Success
1 866 975 3777
http://www.youtube.com/user/ServingSuccess
www.facebook.com/DrSuccessPhD