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The difficult part of finding my voice is that I feel called
to lovingly communicate differences (generally more than others wish I would –
and I know that).
Our current political cycle has allowed me ample opportunity
to practice communicating my opinion in a respectful way to someone or some
institute that I feel is potentially using their position of power to inflame
emotion instead of build resolution. I
am not big into 50/50 thinking, or consensus thinking. I am big into working on resolutions that
give a place to begin the real work.
Some of the time that means I get more than I give – other times that means I
give up or contribute more than I get.
What follows is an excerpt from an email I wrote a local business
leader after observing the content of Facebook comments, cartoons and jokes he
posted. I felt they left no doubt how he
was voting, and I additionally felt they left no room for solution
building. I wrote this note privately
and share parts of the content to give you an example how you might approach a
difficult conversation.
“Dear Person,
I wanted to take this conversation off line. I have been
surprised how you have been using this political cycle to lead your XXXXXX through
posts on FB. I take it from your posts, that you would not allow a non-RNC member to
work for or with you. That surprised me. You know I led a successful business
before. My employee base was a very diverse
group – especially during our last election when the hotels Richard and I owned
were in Arizona. I think it would be fair to
say that most of our employees differed on their opinion of not only who should
be President, but on how to resolve the great concerns that faced our nation in
2008. I also think none of them felt
isolated by or from us for our differences.
I saw my role as teaching them to stay in conversation long
enough to hear where they shared values and to build a solution from that
point. A chapter heading from a book I was reading today says it all: Walking
Our Talk -- What We Allow We Teach. I am deeply devoted to life success. I have
vowed during this season to not work to convince others to vote as I might --
but to listen with care, hear what they want fixed, and finds ways to work
together to fix it. My RNC friends (to which I have many as you would expect) are
amazed how calm I remain when we have coffee and discuss politics.
They know we want only great things for our country and my
response allows them to see how they could be heard better (that is what they
have told me). You are in an important leadership position in our community. I
hope you will consider facilitating conversations aimed at solution. Wishing
you continued success…”
P.S. I just took the photo on this blog. As my Facebook page showed, I attended my
first ever political rally when President Obama was in Las Vegas. I kept wondering where to put the ticket I
saved as a memento. As I was cleaning up
my bookshelf in my office this last week I found what I thought was the perfect
place: In the souvenir box from the only
other political event I attended – the second inaugural of President Ronald Reagan. Both experiences are ones I will
cherish forever.
I hope you join me in thanking the men and women who serve so that I/we can share deep differences and yet know that the most I will suffer is a hurt feeling -- not be killed for what I shared. That is true freedom. All we are missing is a bit more courtesy.
Thank you and may Peace be with us all, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
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