Natural Behavior Part 1 of 3

I always pay attention to what I am asked to explain, or topics that keep reoccurring in client and friend conversations, or behaviors or thoughts that pop up in me that cause me to pause and take notice. Today I read a line from Seth Godin’s about jerks and doormats at work and I knew it was time to start writing about natural behaviors and why they are so natural.

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Good news about jerks: There is no behavioral style that is not a candidate for title of “jerk”. All behavioral styles: Those who tend to be driven by the need to control a situation, or those who are driven to use influence to get others to cooperate, or those who appear to be willing to adapt and go along to get along, or even those who appear to detach and set really clear boundaries, have the ability to be a jerk. However, how “jerky” someone may appear may say more about what got offended in my behavioral style than how much of “jerk” a person is really being.

Example: Two people with a lot of Conscientiousness (or High C) are working on a project. Both understand the others need to set clear boundaries for tasks and responsibilities and prefer to work alone on those tasks. Both understand the others need to be 100% accurate before moving ahead. Both understand the others need to have adequate time to process the project data and report when they feel completely comfortable. All of this is a complete exaggeration because rarely is someone a “pure” C. But play along with me. To each other, there is nothing “jerky” about wanting and operating in this manner.

Now imagine someone with a lot of Influencing (of High I) was working with that group. The first thing you might notice is that the two High C team members are thinking “jerk, jerk, jerk” and the High I member is starting every conversation with every friend and co-worker they have with the statement: “what jerks I am being asked to work with. They don’t want to get together for lunch and talk about the project, they have all this information but they don’t want to share it with management until they are 100% sure, and they don’t understand that to be successful you have to fire a lot of blanks until you hit a target.”

Now I have used a business example, yet every bit of this translates to your personal life situation. You can see it in your family members, your community involvements and at your kid’s school.

That is why behavior and knowing your behavior is so important. Seth closed his blog by stating, “Linchpins [the name of Seth’s great book and his reference to people who create and nurture networks] might be afraid, but they know precisely what they're afraid of. And then they do something constructive about it.”

Thank you,
Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
Dr. Success™
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
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