Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Positive Psychology Takes A Holiday – 5 Steps to for a December to Remember!
Well, it’s that time of the year again. The days are shorter, and the to-do lists are longer. There are gifts to buy, decorations to hang, festivities to attend (and host), as well as all the normal things that come with the year’s end, like wrapping up financial decisions along with all the gifts (especially challenging this year). But with every single one of holiday challenges we face, there comes another chance to find the hidden gifts wrapped up inside all of the work. The question is, just how are we to do that?
First, take an honest inventory of your burdens. This can give you great insights to managing them, prioritizing them, releasing them, and even turn them into opportunities for camaraderie. Used properly, those burdens are a chance to activate the laws of attraction (which definitely work better when we actually do the simple, courageous thing and just ask for help). Here are five steps to turning your December burden into a basket of cheer.
First, as you start each day, be sure to begin it with true appreciation. Before you tackle a list of chores, be sure to create a list of gratefulness. Some things are obvious (or should be). List them anyway. Even in a time of recession, we still live in a very abundant society. Making that list and checking it twice should definitely NOT be left only to the guy in a big red suit!
Second, keep your sense of humor. Positive psychology is a tool that we use and not a theory. By having a light hearted funny bone readily available when others are stressed out, their antics will not throw you off center. Remember, your goal is happiness – and if you start it with you, you will surely spread a little cheer to others. This will also allow you to live THIS one holiday season with no regrets.
Third, set your own personal priorities. There are a LOT of people to please and respond to during the holiday season. Saying “yes” to all of them is just a recipe for disaster. Forget about perfection – Hallmark holidays just don’t happen very often. So stand back and take the time to consciously decide what is right for your family. What is important to you? Then just say no to all the rest. Believe me, the world won’t stop revolving. Done effectively, this effort (and the ability to say no) accomplishes the sneaky side effect of allowing you to Live in the moment.
Fourth, ask for help! One of the basic tenets of positive psychology is to ALLOW. When to-do lists are measured in feet, not inches, asking for help is a great way to practice allowing. Be courageous. Seek support. If you feel isolated or overwhelmed, reach out to family and friends for support (and companionship). Besides making our lives easier, asking for help can be emotionally and spiritually enriching. And any time an individual is helped, everything around them is made better. Asking for help deepens connections, reduces stress, increases energy, and ends isolation. And you never know, the person helped the most may be the other guy!
Finally, surrender “old stories” (and your worries!). As human beings, we like to assume that we “know” how things will go – or we worry ourselves to death with what may or may not happen. What that often means around the holidays is that we allow ourselves to get stuck. We worry so much that we subconsciously volunteer to repeat unhealthy patterns over and over. The good news is, we don’t have to do that! Real success begins when we author and articulate our own definition of personal happiness. And by consciously reminding ourselves that life is always a new, uncharted adventure – we can create an entirely different holiday season. And in the process, write a new story and make it one you will LOVE to remember for years to come.
To your successful holidays and your happy new year!
First, take an honest inventory of your burdens. This can give you great insights to managing them, prioritizing them, releasing them, and even turn them into opportunities for camaraderie. Used properly, those burdens are a chance to activate the laws of attraction (which definitely work better when we actually do the simple, courageous thing and just ask for help). Here are five steps to turning your December burden into a basket of cheer.
First, as you start each day, be sure to begin it with true appreciation. Before you tackle a list of chores, be sure to create a list of gratefulness. Some things are obvious (or should be). List them anyway. Even in a time of recession, we still live in a very abundant society. Making that list and checking it twice should definitely NOT be left only to the guy in a big red suit!
Second, keep your sense of humor. Positive psychology is a tool that we use and not a theory. By having a light hearted funny bone readily available when others are stressed out, their antics will not throw you off center. Remember, your goal is happiness – and if you start it with you, you will surely spread a little cheer to others. This will also allow you to live THIS one holiday season with no regrets.
Third, set your own personal priorities. There are a LOT of people to please and respond to during the holiday season. Saying “yes” to all of them is just a recipe for disaster. Forget about perfection – Hallmark holidays just don’t happen very often. So stand back and take the time to consciously decide what is right for your family. What is important to you? Then just say no to all the rest. Believe me, the world won’t stop revolving. Done effectively, this effort (and the ability to say no) accomplishes the sneaky side effect of allowing you to Live in the moment.
Fourth, ask for help! One of the basic tenets of positive psychology is to ALLOW. When to-do lists are measured in feet, not inches, asking for help is a great way to practice allowing. Be courageous. Seek support. If you feel isolated or overwhelmed, reach out to family and friends for support (and companionship). Besides making our lives easier, asking for help can be emotionally and spiritually enriching. And any time an individual is helped, everything around them is made better. Asking for help deepens connections, reduces stress, increases energy, and ends isolation. And you never know, the person helped the most may be the other guy!
Finally, surrender “old stories” (and your worries!). As human beings, we like to assume that we “know” how things will go – or we worry ourselves to death with what may or may not happen. What that often means around the holidays is that we allow ourselves to get stuck. We worry so much that we subconsciously volunteer to repeat unhealthy patterns over and over. The good news is, we don’t have to do that! Real success begins when we author and articulate our own definition of personal happiness. And by consciously reminding ourselves that life is always a new, uncharted adventure – we can create an entirely different holiday season. And in the process, write a new story and make it one you will LOVE to remember for years to come.
To your successful holidays and your happy new year!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Personal Care: The Foundation of Personal Development
So how much time each day, week, month, year, do you spend tending to your spiritual, physical and psychological well-being? Given the time of the year, this may appear a loaded question, yet there is no better time to examine where you put yourself on your list of things to do. This time of year we could take on an additional 40 hour work week just to create and participant in The Holiday Season. I have wondered, for all of my adulthood, exactly who is this season a holiday for?
If the cornerstone of personal development is self-esteem, the foundation is personal care. Self-esteem is how we value ourselves. It is not what others think of us, but what we think of ourselves. Self-esteem is your measure of your value. It requires you invest time, thought and energy into the care and development of your spiritual, physical and psychological well-being.
I will share what that looks like for me. Ten years ago, I started writing down my goals. In the personal area, when thinking ten years out, I wrote that I wanted to be able to get to a spa retreat four times a year – basically, once a quarter. It was an ambitious goal, yet I envisioned those weeks as a time to realign my fitness and health plan and to reinvigorate my spirit and clear my mind of clutter. I saw my personal life and my business life benefiting in a major way from this seemingly self-indulgent activity. What I knew for certain back then was that I was committed to maintaining the best health and fitness, and yet remaining involved and invigorated throughout my career.
Now for the reality of that goal. At best I have succeeded in scheduling a week-long trip once every two years. As this year evolved, I realized the last time I had prioritized that “necessary for my well-being and success” week was almost three years ago. My body showed it, my spirit longed for it, and my psyche was in overload.
Enter the Red Mountain Spa in St. George, Utah (http://www.redmountainspa.com/). A convenient and easy two-hour drive from Las Vegas, the Red Mountain Spa took all the thinking out of the equation. All you have to do is get there. The scenic outdoors provides the spiritual and psychological lifts, and the fitness schedule of classes provide the physical maintenance. To round out the experience, executive chef Dale Van Sky presents a nutritionally balanced menu in the form of three incredible meals a day, and any of the Sagestone spa treatments will guide you back to your road of well-being and success. A personal favorite was the Lavender Marine Bolus Massage I received from Jennifer. It was a mix of light pressure, with Thai stretching and the wonderful aroma of lavender salts. After that treatment, all was well with the world.
There was also a terrific personal growth side of the Red Mountain Spa experience. One such experience took the form of an ego adjustment. On the first day I gleefully anticipated a morning hike at the Trekker 3 level, their highest offered. After slugging through the sand, I was informed that we would be traversing the sandstone faced elevation of the 1,500 foot peak in front of me. The elevation was not the challenge; the fact that I was to take it at 4.5 miles per hour stopped me in my tracks. I tucked my ego back into its rightful place and announced I could not attempt that speed. Graciously, one of the two trail leaders simply took me another way! Then there was a personal growth of the ego enriching kind. On Friday evening I signed up for the Evening with the Stars with John Kolb. John is a master, yet amateur, astronomer and geologist. I learned much about the value of life and following your dreams from John in two short hours under the stars. When I got to see clearly the sites in the heavens 400 light years away, I knew that no matter how crooked my road of success might be, the Red Mountain Spa and John Kolb’s stars would help me find my way.
A powerful Zen saying offers us this path for success in life and work: “The master in the art of living makes little distinction between work and play, labor and leisure, mind and body, education and recreation, love and religion. The master hardly knows which is which. The master simply pursues the vision of excellence in whatever there is to do, leaving others to decide whether it is work or play. To the master, it is like always doing both.”
If the cornerstone of personal development is self-esteem, the foundation is personal care. Self-esteem is how we value ourselves. It is not what others think of us, but what we think of ourselves. Self-esteem is your measure of your value. It requires you invest time, thought and energy into the care and development of your spiritual, physical and psychological well-being.
I will share what that looks like for me. Ten years ago, I started writing down my goals. In the personal area, when thinking ten years out, I wrote that I wanted to be able to get to a spa retreat four times a year – basically, once a quarter. It was an ambitious goal, yet I envisioned those weeks as a time to realign my fitness and health plan and to reinvigorate my spirit and clear my mind of clutter. I saw my personal life and my business life benefiting in a major way from this seemingly self-indulgent activity. What I knew for certain back then was that I was committed to maintaining the best health and fitness, and yet remaining involved and invigorated throughout my career.
Now for the reality of that goal. At best I have succeeded in scheduling a week-long trip once every two years. As this year evolved, I realized the last time I had prioritized that “necessary for my well-being and success” week was almost three years ago. My body showed it, my spirit longed for it, and my psyche was in overload.
Enter the Red Mountain Spa in St. George, Utah (http://www.redmountainspa.com/). A convenient and easy two-hour drive from Las Vegas, the Red Mountain Spa took all the thinking out of the equation. All you have to do is get there. The scenic outdoors provides the spiritual and psychological lifts, and the fitness schedule of classes provide the physical maintenance. To round out the experience, executive chef Dale Van Sky presents a nutritionally balanced menu in the form of three incredible meals a day, and any of the Sagestone spa treatments will guide you back to your road of well-being and success. A personal favorite was the Lavender Marine Bolus Massage I received from Jennifer. It was a mix of light pressure, with Thai stretching and the wonderful aroma of lavender salts. After that treatment, all was well with the world.There was also a terrific personal growth side of the Red Mountain Spa experience. One such experience took the form of an ego adjustment. On the first day I gleefully anticipated a morning hike at the Trekker 3 level, their highest offered. After slugging through the sand, I was informed that we would be traversing the sandstone faced elevation of the 1,500 foot peak in front of me. The elevation was not the challenge; the fact that I was to take it at 4.5 miles per hour stopped me in my tracks. I tucked my ego back into its rightful place and announced I could not attempt that speed. Graciously, one of the two trail leaders simply took me another way! Then there was a personal growth of the ego enriching kind. On Friday evening I signed up for the Evening with the Stars with John Kolb. John is a master, yet amateur, astronomer and geologist. I learned much about the value of life and following your dreams from John in two short hours under the stars. When I got to see clearly the sites in the heavens 400 light years away, I knew that no matter how crooked my road of success might be, the Red Mountain Spa and John Kolb’s stars would help me find my way.
A powerful Zen saying offers us this path for success in life and work: “The master in the art of living makes little distinction between work and play, labor and leisure, mind and body, education and recreation, love and religion. The master hardly knows which is which. The master simply pursues the vision of excellence in whatever there is to do, leaving others to decide whether it is work or play. To the master, it is like always doing both.”